How My Research Became a Mirror
While researching this week's topic of self-doubt, I came across something called chronic self-doubt. It made me stop and think about my own experiences, and I realized I’ve been dealing with this for longer than I thought. It’s funny how, in trying to help others, I ended up learning something important for myself too.
So, how is chronic self-doubt different from regular self-doubt? Everyday self-doubt is normal and usually comes up during changes or new challenges, like starting a job or a relationship. Sometimes, a little self-doubt is even helpful because it pushes you to reflect and grow.
Chronic self-doubt, on the other hand, is different. It’s a constant, overwhelming feeling that doesn’t go away and can really get in the way of daily life. Unlike regular doubt, it sticks around and can be very hard to deal with.
Reading this definition made me think about how chronic self-doubt has shown up in my own life. I could think of many examples, but I’ll just share a recent one to keep it brief.
When I left my job in healthcare to start my own business, I kept wondering if I made the right choice. I never talked about these doubts, not even to myself, because I worried that admitting them would mean I’d made a mistake. You might think this sounds like normal self-doubt.
But here’s the thing: my self-doubt didn’t begin when I left my job or after my first failed business attempt five years ago. It actually goes back to childhood, when I experienced emotional neglect from a parent who wasn’t really there for me. This kind of experience can slowly wear down your self-esteem and make it hard to see your own strengths. It can leave you stuck in negative thinking and doubting your own judgment.
I’m not trying to make excuses. In the end, we’re all responsible for our choices and what comes from them. Still, understanding where my self-doubt started helps me see more options and practice self-compassion instead of being so hard on myself. It lets me move from judging myself to accepting and validating who I am.
It took 40+ years to accumulate this, reinforced over the years, so I don't expect it to simply go away overnight, but now that I’m aware, I know how to manage it.
Decision Worth Making
This week, when a moment of doubt surfaces, write it down exactly as it arrived. Then ask one question: is this true, or is this familiar? That distinction is where the pattern begins to loosen. What you name, you can interrupt.
If what you just recognized feels bigger than one week's practice, the PATTERN Response™ was built for exactly that. Learn more at https://termeilhall.com/pattern-response
Until next week,
Termeil Hall